What is your definition of cheating, is not a very common question to ask or be asked while dating. But in this day and age where most marriages end in divorce and infidelity is cited as a common reason why couples abandon their vows....would we be better off to go through the trouble of defining cheating?
The definition of cheating could be obvious to one but not shared by the other. Is cheating emotional? Is it physical? Is it a bit of both? Could it be virtual?
Now what happened if a couple cannot reconcile their definitions, does the strictest definition applies?
For me cheating is engaging in acts that have the potential to damage the trust and /or make your spouse feel insecure, betrayed. This can be translated by engaging in some physical acts, building an emotional connection with another party, etc...
It is interesting how complicated the definition can get. The more I think about it the more clauses I might end up adding. With regards to disagreements regarding the definition, the strictest should apply...why not?
This is a brain storming session so what is your definition of cheating? how important is it to define it? what if the couple does not agree?
Cheating is emotional, plain and simple. Too pay more attention to someone besides your spouse, devote more energy to them, care more about them, etc, even if nothing physical occurs is cheating. When you make someone a "significant other" that means they are supposed to be the most significant other person in your life. To say cheating is purely physical is an elementary statement that should only apply to high school relationships, if any. It is a cop out, and people use it because it is easy to prove. Emotional cheating is far more complicated. I guess it could be "virtual," but virtual cheating is a stretch. Does "physical cheating" have to involve "emotional cheating?" I don't think so. Even when people are in loving, committed relationships, physical, sexual desires for others outside the relationship do not end. That's just part of being human. Now does that mean that one should do everything they can to deny themselves those desires? Probably not. Why? For starters, it can create resentment of one's partner because they feel that their partner is holding them back from something they want to do. Resentment of one's partner is also the first step in "emotional cheating." It weakens the bond between partners and kills their emotional relationship. Once this emotional relationship is weakened, people will seek to fill this need elsewhere, and that brings about "emotional cheating," which is the most dangerous, because one partner in the relationship may fall in love with someone else. Then the relationship is doomed. Is it important to define "cheating" in the relaionship? yes. If partners do not agree, is the stricter definition used? No, that's a recipe for sure failure. A compromise should be reached. This is definitely a complicated issue ~ J
ReplyDeletecheating is really only defined by the beholder. what may be cheating to one person/couple, may not constitute cheating to another. for example, there are many movie stars (and porn stars as well) that are married, but they may carry out sexual interactions in their films. their partners may already have understanding that this part of their job, and thus does not constitute cheating. of course, then again, those celebrity marriages are among the shortest around.
ReplyDeletehere's what I tell my wife, "Do whatever you want, so long as you are comfortable with me doing the same thing with someone else."
In essence, cheating fuels jealousy. Most people that insecure with themselves tend to get jealous quicker. Conversely, those that have a high level of self-confidence do not tend to get as jealous as quickly, and thus tend to worry less about their significant other cheating.
So in other words, if you worry about your partner cheating, it's probably due to an insecurity on your part, and you need correct it in order to be in a healthy relationship.